i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
