There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
