"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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