it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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