i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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