Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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