I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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