Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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