we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Found the puke drawer
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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