If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
