just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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