It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize