u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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