true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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