how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
