Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
