Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize