Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
