It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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