Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
