Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm bleeding and have questions
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
