He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
