I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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