the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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