Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
