I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
