new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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