Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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