we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
