Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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