My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
