I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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