i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
