He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
