Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
