THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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