Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
