Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
