I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
