just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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