I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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