I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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