didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
