I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i barfeds in our rink
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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