I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
