Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I know she was great

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(214): View more from Texas

I am SOOO high

(830): View more from Texas

tell me about your high

(214): View more from Texas

HUGE THUMBTACKS

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system

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(618): View more from Illinois

the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

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(970): View more from Colorado

Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back

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(415): View more from California

SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!

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(314): View more from Missouri

That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.

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