guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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