If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
