i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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