I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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