"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We need to get me chipped asap
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize