is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
dude. I can hear the air.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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