One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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