I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
