belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
