No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
