i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
