what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
