like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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