is your mom at the bar?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
