yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
