considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We left the knife in your bed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
