Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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