He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
