Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize