Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
