We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
