M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
