I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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