He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
