it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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