"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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