It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
